My friend Pierce and I were at my cottage this past summer. He was up visiting me for the weekend, early in July. On the Friday night of his stay, we were invited to a neighbour's cottage for dinner. Summer dinners are very late for my family, sometimes not starting until 9 o'clock, and the dinners are usually quite long because, during the summer, what's the rush? This meant that we were winding down from the long meal of socializing and drinking at around 10:30. Pierce and I were getting quite antsy because it was getting late and we had something we wanted to get from my parents: permission. Permission to go to a party, that is. Why we had waited so long to ask was because all day we were bickering if it was worth going. You see, neither of us knew the host that well.
Anyways, when we arrived home from the neighbour's cottage, Pierce and I asked my parents if we could drive to the cottage nearby. The cottage was about 20 minutes away, and we were invited to join the gathering, but I didn't know the girl whos cottage it was because she was Pierce's friend. And before I cut to us driving to her place, (past the part of the story where I have the grueling task of convincing my parents to let us go), I will give you the brief back-story of Pierce and his lady-friend's relationship:
Back in February, he met her at a sporting event, and had asked for her number. He got it, and began texting her for weeks and weeks with growing frequency. Her name was Lisa. She lived pretty far away, so he only met with her once before July, but as soon as we heard her cottage was so close to mine, Peirce and I jumped at the chance to meet up with her. What was my interest in joining him? I'm just a great friend and wingman... That, and we heard Lisa had ten or so of her friends joining her this particular weekend. And she had a sauna. Saunas are nice. Girls are nice.
Pierce drove to her place, and I was the navigator. It was late and we were excited. We didn't have that long to visit though because my parents wanted us home by 1:00. It took 20 minutes to get to her cottage and we were unsure if we were at the right place. We parked and walked slowly up to the back porch. I was imagining the awkward confrontation associated with this being the wrong cottage. But it wasn't. As soon as we stepped onto the porch out came (presumed and verified) Lisa's father from the side door. We were expecting him to say "Who are you?" but he didn't. He said "Hello" with a smile. We introduced ourselves and he said "They're around back, in the sauna."
We walked around back and were about to knock on the sauna door when a guy came out. He was a little older than us. One of Lisa's friends that we had been warned were there. He greeted us with a "Hey" and walked away to dry off. We peered inside the sauna now and received a much more happy welcoming from Lisa inside, who said hello in unison with some of her many friends in the sauna. They told us to come in. Pierce and I quickly closed the door, changed into our bathing suits on the porch, then joined the ladies inside. I quickly noticed my glasses fogged in the hot room and I had to forfiet my ability to see the young women in detail. The group of girls squeezed a spot for Pierce and I on one of the two platforms in the tall room. It was very hot. There were 9 or so young women in the room with us and two other boys outside by the fire.
Lisa recited the girls names while pointing at them in sequence. I instantly forgot what their names were for two reasons -- there were so many of these blurry people and because it was so damn hot. Pierce and I quickly voiced our discomfort. The room was thick with steam and sweat but the ladies were so pleasant, I thought I was the only one suffering in the heat. I was not alone though, Pierce felt the heat too. We sucked-it-up through a few more minutes of awkward small talk before convincing the crowd to head to the lake. They threw one more cup of water onto the hot stove, which blasted us with one final wave of heat, and then we ran for the lake.
It was a long stone-step path down to the dock, and it was dark, so Pierce and I let some of the ladies lead the way. The train of us started running in the cool evening air and before I knew it, I saw arms attached to the girl's body in front of me, reach up behind herself, towards her shoulder blades and untie her bikini top. It was at this point I realized we were partaking in the act of skinny-dipping. It was also at this point, where my heart dropped as I realized I was very, very blind without my glasses. (Oh why didn't I use contacts!?). I cursed my useless eyeballs and watched the parade of topless women jumped off the dock and into the water through a blurry filter. Pierce and I then joined them in the water and swam around a bit. Skinny-dipping etiquette says to let the ladies out first so they can get covered without you watching them, so that's what we did. Once we were out too, I told Pierce of my misfortune and he just giggled selfishly at me.
We did another round of hot, and another of cold before drying off and gathering around the fire. The other guys were there now too. We enjoyed s'mores and much better conversation before having to race home to meet our curfew. All in all -- a good experience.
Moral of the story: get laser eye surgery, then go skinny-dipping. It's fun.
You're welcome,
B.F. Greenough, aka,
Chief Hanky, The Declined Blind
Lisa recited the girls names while pointing at them in sequence. I instantly forgot what their names were for two reasons -- there were so many of these blurry people and because it was so damn hot. Pierce and I quickly voiced our discomfort. The room was thick with steam and sweat but the ladies were so pleasant, I thought I was the only one suffering in the heat. I was not alone though, Pierce felt the heat too. We sucked-it-up through a few more minutes of awkward small talk before convincing the crowd to head to the lake. They threw one more cup of water onto the hot stove, which blasted us with one final wave of heat, and then we ran for the lake.
It was a long stone-step path down to the dock, and it was dark, so Pierce and I let some of the ladies lead the way. The train of us started running in the cool evening air and before I knew it, I saw arms attached to the girl's body in front of me, reach up behind herself, towards her shoulder blades and untie her bikini top. It was at this point I realized we were partaking in the act of skinny-dipping. It was also at this point, where my heart dropped as I realized I was very, very blind without my glasses. (Oh why didn't I use contacts!?). I cursed my useless eyeballs and watched the parade of topless women jumped off the dock and into the water through a blurry filter. Pierce and I then joined them in the water and swam around a bit. Skinny-dipping etiquette says to let the ladies out first so they can get covered without you watching them, so that's what we did. Once we were out too, I told Pierce of my misfortune and he just giggled selfishly at me.
We did another round of hot, and another of cold before drying off and gathering around the fire. The other guys were there now too. We enjoyed s'mores and much better conversation before having to race home to meet our curfew. All in all -- a good experience.
Moral of the story: get laser eye surgery, then go skinny-dipping. It's fun.
You're welcome,
B.F. Greenough, aka,
Chief Hanky, The Declined Blind
