Some people partially crack when they are out from the pressures of their parents, there's no doubt about it. It's not that something breaks, but more that something that was always there surfaces when the ideals of their parents and home life goes suddenly absent. The first year of university is a doozy and a friend of mine was recently on the receiving end of the madness it sometimes brings. He had effectively survived the barrage that is year one and was into his second, but the young woman who stars in this tale was just getting started.
Bert (my friend) and the girl (lets call her Bradley) met at a house party near campus in September. They apparently had a fun evening chatting and connecting over common ground of being from the same town. I think when you are new to the environment you feel a strong presence of the hierarchy of years, whether it exists or not. Much like high school, this hierarchy is most strongly facilitated by the second years or grade tens, who think they are so much better than first years, but once you get to the upper years you don't really care who is around or how old anyone is. Bradley fell strongly for Bert in only the one casual evening they had together. I think the seeming authority of sophomore to freshman played a role in how she felt, as I hope you will see. The evening did not become physical but they did exchange numbers and held the hope of hanging out in the near future.
Bert was excited at the prospect of this flirty first year as well. It was not just one way. He had heard of her back in Barrie before their meeting and was certainly curious, but Bert is Bert. In his Bert nature, during their scattered communication, he also became increasingly friendly with a would-be fling from the summer just past. There was still time for Bradley -- she lived right there on campus after all. The two met a few times during September and October. Bert assures me they did not hook up but instead just chatted. He sometimes helped her with her chemistry homework. That was all. Things stopped with Bradley when Bert texted her saying things had gotten serious with Summer girl and he wouldn't see her anymore.
Of course things did not truly stop with Bradley though, or we wouldn't have a story. She seemed alright with the news at first, but not long after she texted Bert asking if he wanted to come over for homework again — no funny business. Bert ignored this because he is a smart man with girlfriend. Bradley followed up with “Never mind”, then “I’m going out tonight.” Bert didn’t think too much of it beyond being a little odd after closing the door on their solely flirtatious relationship.
Not too long later, from Bradley, a couple more random texts: “Do you have my glasses?” Of course he didn’t. Did she even have glasses? Then “I just aced my midterm!” Good for you, but still Bert ignored her. The big pitch that put her in a new realm deemed “Crazy” was also early on. She had some reason to believe she still had a chance with Bert but it was squashed by reality. She said something along the lines:
“I was going to have sex with you.”
“You missed your chance.”
“Don’t try getting with me again.”
Bert still gave no response and by this time he was telling his friends about it. One on particular night while Bert was with Summer, his phone buzzed a rapid eight times in a row. Although he had explained the circumstance to Summer, she still was no less bothered by this obsessive younger girl.
Over the next six months, Bradley would reach ONE HUNDRED CONSECUTIVE TEXTS to Bert with no response. She went through the entire spectrum, ranging from "Come over and fuck me" to "Never text me again" but they were usually closer to the former. Mostly it was long periods of silence with bursts of messages related to her mood or random statements about her life. She even generously sprinkled photos throughout. It became quite the topic amongst close friends; we would frequently ask for the updated count and Bert would share the most recent outburst.
Come the spring, Bert’s relationship with Summer has run its course and ended bittersweet. It was around the time of exams at this point. Almost summer once more. And remember, Bert is Bert. He was looking for prospects. Among the finalists, no one looked as promising as multiple sexy pictures and constant attachment, plus there was still that initial curiosity. When the mandatory Summer grieving period was over (two weeks), Bert finally texted Bradley back.
From mid-April to mid-August, Bert and Bradley maintained a vigorous, strictly sexual relationship. For if you dig yourself a hundred texts deep, you don’t stand in much of a position to negotiate: you’re either interested or you’re not. I’m not saying I condone this perspective but it’s the one Bert held. The poor girl was consenting her own deprecation. She would text late at night: “Come pick me up and we can do it quickly in your truck” and the like. Bert wouldn’t let her call him babe. They didn't meet each-other’s parents. Who knows what she wanted but that is what she got. It was unhealthy. Bert knew it. He heard it from his friends, and from his head— I mean brain. He had to cut it off one day after a final roll in the hay, but we can all guess how Bradley took it; the most famous of her responses at this point: “Come over one more time. I won’t even talk.”
When their communication was truly over and the dust had settled what did we learn from the situation? I honestly don’t know. I learnt that men can sometimes hold equal power over women that they certainly hold over us. I learnt that girls can be truly insane (and likely are). Bert learnt that he had a lot of sex. He learnt he had a good story. Sadly, Bradley learnt that if you harass someone in a form that reaches a least three digits, you can get what you want. I guess she learnt patience and hopefully something about her damaged soul. I don’t know why she saw Bert the way she did. He’s a great guy, but I really want to learn more about her perspective. Was it because he is older? Or had she just passed the line and had nothing to lose at some point? Maybe she was just massively immature and troubled.
Wear protection out there.
You’re welcome,
B.F. Greenough, aka,
Chief Hanky, Persistent Pooch (witness)
Appendix - Verbatim
During the Summer:
Appendix - Verbatim
Of the 100:
"My dog has cancer :((("
During the Summer:
"Today I decided to ride my bike and I got hit by a car like 20 feet from my house on the rare chance i was pregnant I’m definitely not now so theres a positive lol"
"My parents are gone for the night, come fuck me for 1 final and last time?"
